life

Mental Health Monday #3 (on Wednesday)

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Another week, another mental health Monday. You may have noticed that it is in fact, not Monday, but I was so busy (and tired) on Monday and Tuesday that I forgot all about writing a post.

This past week has been rough. My anxiety has been at an all time high. I’ve had multiple panic attacks (I’m mostly ok now though). This past week was definitely a down week for me. As I said in my last post, I did go to my counselor last Thursday. We concluded that all this happened because of my thoughts, and that is something I can work on.

Essentially, I worry too much.

She did give a few suggestions on how I can help this issue. First of all, we noticed that even when I say something positive I follow up with something negative. For example, I told her a plan how I was going to get everything done that day that I needed to, but I followed up with “well, probably. We’ll see how it goes.” I’m working on just doing what I planned to do. I have a bad habit of losing motivation.

My goal is practice not thinking so much . Overthinking, I mean. My anxiety has been so high because I overthink every little thing. The dialogue in my head is never quiet.

One thing I have not been doing even though my counselor said I should is to not drink coffee or tea. She said other things too, but coffee and tea is the only thing I drink out of what she listed. I have not stopped drinking either one of those. I know they don’t help my anxiety, but I drink one of those every single day.

I’m still trying to exercise and meditate every day because I know it would help, but it’s hard to find the motivation to do either of those.

Does anyone have self-motivation tips? Please tell me.

Also, don’t get me wrong. I do get everything done, but I want to get everything done before the last minute. I hold off doing everything, and I am thinking about it the entire time. You may think that if I worry about it all the time then I could just do it then, but it doesn’t always work that way. I can’t concentrate long enough to get most things done unless I am in a time crunch.

 

October in Pictures

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#beutmproud

Coffee and muffin at my favorite coffee shop.

Working out helps ease my anxious mind.

I went hiking with my best friend!

Bff Tawnie

Stitch is one of my babies

My niece and nephew have my whole heart.

Love you 

Mirror selfie 

Khole always looks so sad, but we give her lots of loving I promise.

Fall is finally showing!

The ‘IT’ drink

Practicing make up for tik Tok

Honey in Coffee and Mafia Makeup

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I finally posted another Youtube video! I tried honey in my coffee, and I also started doing blood/bruises for a mafia original character I have on Tik Tok.

What kind of youtube videos do you like to see? I like doing sit down videos. Do you have any suggestions about what I could talk about? I’ve been thinking of doing coffee talk videos, but I don’t know what I want to talk about.

Review: Scotty Sire’s new Album “What’s Going On”

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The YouTuber, Scotty Sire, recently released another album. I’ve written about his song “Get Better” before. I think that his music is very relatable. He’s one of the only people I listen to now. His newest album is probably my favorite by far. His new album consist of 10 songs:

  1. Ain’t That Something
  2. Notice Me
  3. Never Satisfied
  4. What’s Going On
  5. Panic Attack
  6. Smile
  7. Funkin’ Fun
  8. Dream Girl
  9. Words
  10. Kids in the Summer

To me, the first six songs are hardcore relatable. I honestly could not tell you which song is my favorite. Most of the songs on this album is about depression and anxiety. For someone who deals with both, it’s nice to be reminded that you are not alone and that others deal with it too.

I’m going to start doing more “Music to Me” blogs, and the first six songs are definitely going to be written about.

I was going to explain what I think the songs are about, but I am just going to wait to talk about the songs in my “Music to Me.”

Nana

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Day 4: Write about someone who inspires you.

The person that inspires me the most in this world is/was my Nana. She was my mother’s mother. She died in 2010, but she still inspires me to be the best that I can be to this day. I lived with her and my grandpa for a very long time – since she was alive and several years after. They both looked after me.

To this day, I have never heard anyone talk bad about my Nana. She was the most amazing and nicest person I have ever met. She would give you the shirt off her back.

It has been nine years since she has been gone, but I still think about her every single day.

There are a lot of moments I wish I could remember from when I was younger, but being told by my Papa will have to be enough.

Apparently one time, I burnt the kitchen cabinets. I didn’t really burn them down myself, but my Nana was so busy playing with me when I was a baby that she forgot she was cooking something. My Pa jokes that she probably did it on purpose because she wanted new cabinets anyway.

I do remember one time asking her how long she had stopped smoking. She looked at me and asked, “How old are you?” I told her how old I was, and she replied, “That’s how long I’ve quit.”

My Nana was kind, patient and humble. She dried my tears when I would get hurt. She made me laugh. Her (and my Pa) taught me how to farm, clean and do laundry. She kept my Pa in line when he would say things that he shouldn’t. She was rarely ever in a bad mood.

I miss her a lot.

I hope that I am able to be at least half the person she turned out to be.