depression

Attempting to Keep Away Seasonal Depression

KelliLeave a comment

Cold weather is coming so you know what that means… seasonal depression.

Which if I am being honest with myself, seasonal depression comes around during any other season as well. This past summer was so miserable that I couldn’t do anything that I normally do outside because of how hot it was so that really sucked.

The past few weeks have been a whole lot better. Even though I have been sick, I have been a whole lot more productive because I haven’t been feeling so down with constant 90 degree weather

With that being said, I want to do some things this new season to try and keep the seasonal depression away.

1. Stop isolating myself.

The biggest thing I do when I feel sad is isolate myself from friends and family. I won’t want to do anything (except play games or watch TV) or really talk to anyone (even via phone). This season I am going to have myself go out and be social at least once a week. I am going to hang out with a friend at least once every 2-3 weeks.

2. Post on YouTube weekly or bi-weekly.

I want to do this because for one, it is one of my favorite hobbies. For two, I want to keep myself busy by being creative. I believe this can help my brain keep going instead of feeling so stuck. When I don’t post on YouTube it usually begins with the reasoning being I’m going through it. Going forward, my YouTube video’s main motive is going to do things that will make me happy. For instance, if it’s a regular vlog, I will choose little things to do that I know will help my mental health such as self care, journaling, cleaning, decluttering, drinking/eating something good, etc. I do also plan to do some workout challenges as well. The first one I am going to do is a two week ab challenge.

3. Write something every day.

I really love writing. I saw this post online that writers should write something every single day. Whether it be for a book you’re writing, in your journal, a letter, a blog post - anything at all. It is a good way to keep your creativeness flowing.

4. Get some morning air.

I read somewhere that the morning sun/air is the best for you than any other time of day. One thing I do like about the cold season is how the cold air wakes me up in the morning. On some mornings I am not running late, I am going to sit outside for about 5 minutes and just reflect.

5. Workout regularly.

I have been working out 2-3 times a week. I want to start working out 4-5 times a week while having active rest days. I hope to start going to the gym more often after work while also doing some workouts at home.

6. Keep a journal.

I don’t write out my feelings enough. I definitely need to do it more. Journaling is one of those things I’ll think about often, but for some reason never do. I am going to try to put into my morning and/or night routine at least every other day.

7. Get enough vitamin D.

This cold season I am definitely taking/drinking vitamin D regularly. This past November through January I was hit with a whole lot of dizziness, shakiness, nausea, and just to the point of almost passing out. Turns out, I had low vitamin D. After I got it straightened out, I didn’t have dizzy spells like that again. I try to still take vitamin D even in the summer, but I have been slacking here lately. I heard that vitamin D can have a whole lot to do with depression as well. A vitamin D a day helps keep the depression away.

8. Keep a schedule.

Lastly, I have noticed that when I don’t keep a schedule, especially a productive schedule, my life seems to spiral sometimes. I seem to be more productive in the morning time so I plan to take extra time in the morning to work on something creative - even if it’s only for 15 minutes. I am going to schedule in everything I talked about previously to try to keep most of it a daily occurrence.

Well, that’s it. Above are 8 ways I am going to try to keep the seasonal depression away this year. Do you have anything else to add? What are some of your favorite ways to keep yourself out of a funk?

7 things I do for therapy

Kelli1 Comment

Therapy is expensive.

Very expensive. To the point where one of my favorite things about college was getting the free therapy because I learned after I graduated therapy is expensive.

I am not a professional and this does not work for everybody. Half the time it doesn’t work for me because it takes consistency which is something I don’t always have.

If you think this blog is about how to afford therapy, I would click off right now because this blog post is about making my own therapy.

Mental health is something I have struggled with since my freshman year in high school. I spent years and years not really taking care of myself. Letting my intrusive thoughts win. I felt like I didn’t have anyone in my corner that could understand — that I could voice my thoughts to. Sometimes I still don’t but that’s beside the point.

Now I can manage my mental health better. While therapy was great while I could do it, it is expensive so I’ve had to rely on myself to keep myself out of the dark hole.

I want to share some of the things that help me in case it helps someone else.

Again I am not a professional and if you can get therapy I would try that too.

Before I start listing, I do want to say that in order for these to help, you have to actually do them consistently. Some of you may be thinking well duh, but for me this is harder than I thought.

Journal

Getting your thoughts on paper can help it not fester inside you so much. This could be about your thoughts, feelings, opinions. Sometimes I will even look up a writing prompt. I might make a blog later about mental health journal prompts.

Workout

Here lately I have been slacking on working out because of a change in my work schedule, but I want to get back into it regularly. My goal is to workout at least 4 days a week, but on the days I don’t workout, I still want an active rest by getting at least 8k steps in.

Plan to do things you love

Sounds so simple but sometimes it can be so hard. Especially when you’re in that depressed state, but sometimes you need to make yourself do things that you don’t want to do.

Reflect while in nature

Here lately I have gotten into the habit of sitting out on my porch super early in the morning (like before 6 am), and just taking everything in. This is also a good time to meditate or journal.

Tidy your living space

I have learned that my mental health is worse when my living space is messy. That could just be a virgo thing. If it’s hard for you to clean your whole space, but focus on a small part of it then focus on a different part the next day.

Have a morning and night routine

I feel like I am more put together when I have a morning and night routine. I am still working out the kinks of it, but so far my routine has brushing teeth and face, reading or journaling, meditating, and I have recently been trying to get into the habit of using a facial stone.

Do your hobbies (or figure out what your hobby is)

Before you say watching tv or getting on TikTok is your hobby, I want to advise doing a more active hobby. Personally, watching tv or TikTok all day makes me feel worse because it is an activity that my brain can kind of shut off for. A couple of my favorite hobbies is reading, hiking, video gaming, playing a sport, and dancing. Other hobbies could be painting, knitting, gardening, cooking, volunteering, skydiving, zip lining, rock climbing – anything that makes you happy. Don’t know what your hobby is? Keep trying different things until you find it.

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How I try to get through my seasonal depression

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For me, this is the best and worst time of the year. I love Christmas, but I hate how the weather and holidays can make my mood worse. This year I have really trying to take care of my mental health, and while it is still a work in progress, I do have some things I try to do to get out of the slump I am in.

Sing out loud to music

One way I know that I am not feeling the best is when I am not singing out loud to the radio. Here lately I have made a point to have a sing outlaid dance party whenever I am feeling down. “I Am Woman” by Emmy Meli has proven to lift my spirits. That, and “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John.

Meditation

I have to confess that I have been slacking on meditating, but honestly, my headspace is always better when I am consistently meditating. A lot of times I meditate with using a video, but sometimes I just meditate with some affirmations I need to hear in that moment. My most used ones are I am worthy, I am loved, I am more than enough.

DO MY SKIN ROUTINE

I swear just doing my simple skin routine can sometimes make me feel so much better. I have a bad habit, thought, when I feel too crappy and I don’t do it even though I know it would help. It’s weird how we do that. Don’t do something even though we know it could help us.

Socialize in person

I tend to isolate myself when I feel myself slipping into a depression. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to stop doing that. I may not can socialize for too long, but a little bit is way better than nothing.

Exercise

This is the main thing that I think helps me. It especially helps me with anxiety. It has actually been scientifically proven that exercising can help with mental illness. For me, working up a sweat can make me happy actually.

Read

Sometimes it helps to escape to another world for a little while.

Different Techniques I Have Been Trying | Mental Health Monday

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These past few months have been rough for me – which is why I was absent for a while. I felt like I was in a hole that I could not climb out of.

I slept. A lot. I would either wake up, go to the gym or work then come home and get back in bed. It was a very depressing cycle.

It got to the point where even my friends started noticing something was wrong with me. Always asking if I was OK, and if they could do anything to help; in which I always replied no.

The thing about depression is a lot of times the person who has it does not know why they have it. To my knowledge, there was not something that triggered it a few months ago. It just happened. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and sometimes the depression just hits me like a freight train.

But finally – finally – I have been able to pull myself out of the hole I fell into. For the past two weeks, I have been doing quite well actually. I have been trying different techniques that I am going to talk about below.

At the start of the week, I have started writing out what all I want to get done by the end of the week.

On a sticky note, I write everything I want to do through the week. This list will usually include posting YouTube videos and blogs, self-care, finishing a book, movie, or tv show, and things I want to do around the house (such as clean certain areas or plant flowers). I then try to at least mark one of those off my list every day. The days I get the most done is Monday through Wednesday so I try to get as much done on those days as I can.

My best friend has started a rewarding system, and it’s working.

It all started with me wanting to take more pictures. He said that if I took xx amount of photos then he would reward me with a king-sized chocolate bar, which is my weakness. My brain then took that and ran with it. It also helps that my best friend believes in me and motivates me. The second thing we talked about is me posting YouTube videos again. This time the reward would be him coming to visit me. After not posting in so long because I was not motivated to do so, I have posted two videos in a week and a half. My goal is to post one or two videos a week.

I have been getting more fresh air.

After the gym, I have been going to a nearby outside track and walking a couple miles. I think the fresh air really helps clear my head. Fresh air is something I have severely been lacking in the winter. I truly believe in seasonal depression.

I have not been motivated all the time, but I still force myself to start.

The biggest problem I have is starting. Editing a YouTube video sucks, but when I start doing it, I’m focused on finishing it. The same thing with cleaning, reading, writing, exercising. I used to wait for motivation to strike, but now I am just forcing myself to start. That’s when I get motivated; plus my best friend encouraging me helps too. For me, motivation comes after – not before.

Do you have some things that help you stay out of a funk? Stay/get motivated?

Journal Entry #1: Better Than I Was, Not as Good as I am Going To Be

Kelli2 Comments

I just want to start by saying that this post could be a TRIGGER to some people. I talk about mental health issues that I’ve had/have.

Past

I’ve had severe problems with my mental health since I was a freshman in high school. For me, high school was the absolute worst. I hated myself. I didn’t want to live. I’m honestly surprised (but also very glad) that I survived. I’m not going to get into major details, but freshman and sophomore year was rough. I went to the school counselor often although I don’t feel as though it always helped. I’ve always had a hard time telling people how I felt and why – especially back then. I would end up telling the counselor that I had some boy drama. Boys certainly did not help the way I felt about myself, but they were not the main reason I felt that way.

My junior and senior year of high school was definitely better, but it was not great. I still struggled a lot, but the friends I had made it more bearable. To those I was close to during those two years, I just want to say thank you. You helped me through so much, and you probably didn’t even know it. I appreciate you. I love you.

Even throughout college, I’ve struggled with loving/accepting/appreciating/caring about myself. I’ve never been diagnosed, but I am pretty sure I’ve been living with depression and anxiety all these years. Some days are definitely better than others.

A message I sent to a friend of my mine today has been stuck in my mind since I’ve been writing this post. It’s a great thing to remember:

“It’s just life. We live. We mess up. We learn. We try again.”

Present Day

Yesterday started out as “meh.” I don’t know how else to describe it. When I’m in that kind of mood I’m just… there. I only do things because I’ve learned to force myself to. I’ve never felt better by just laying in bed all day. And boy do I feel tired of feeling like that.

However, I did sleep in yesterday. Even though I woke up feeling “meh,” I still went to my grandpa’s house. I ate food, and then played video games with my cousin for hours – which did not help my mental state. I felt even more “meh.”

But it got better.

I became more productive. I went home. I took a shower. (Showers usually help a great deal.) I made several tik toks (@ kelliyoung42). I wrote in my journal. I even watched a really good movie called The Backup Plan.

Today was even better. I woke up early to go eat breakfast with my grandpa and my cousin. My pa makes THE BEST chocolate gravy. I went home a couple hours later. I actually started my laundry (and finished it). I went to help my dog get unstuck from which his chain latched onto a tree root. Don’t worry, a couple hours later that tree root was cut out so he can’t get caught anymore. I even ended up cleaning my room up quite a bit. This was all before it was even 1:30 p.m. It was then that I went to work until 10.

I’m very proud of my productive day. Being productive makes me feel accomplished, and like I’m doing something right. I’m hoping I will have this motivation for a little bit longer. Wish me luck.

Future

I don’t know what my future holds, but I am pretty sure that I will always have mental health issues. I know I should be diagnosed, but I’m scared. I’ve been told multiple times in my life that it was just a phase, and that I would snap out of it. I’m not snapping out of it. I’ve learned how to deal with it better, but you can’t just snap your fingers or turn a certain age for it to go away.

But I am proud of how far I am come. How much I have grown as a person.

I am way better than I was, but I also know I’m not as good as I am going to be. That thought makes me happy. This period of my life is not going to be the best time of my life.

Better times are coming. You just have to keep living to get there.