blogging

December goals

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I am a week late in posting my December goals, but better late than never, right? I have made up 5 goals/things I want to focus on this month.

VLOGMAS

I believe this is my 3rd year doing vlogmas. Last year I did it all the way through, and I plan on it this year as well. While there could be pressure to post 25 days in a roll, at the same time, I don’t feel so much pressure in making sure everything is perfect… Not that I really do with regular content. It’s just my regular day-to-day things with some Christmas things sprinkled in.

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

CHRISTMAS IS LESS THAN 3 WEEKS AWAY, AND I HAVEN’T BOUGHT ANYONE PRESENTS. I’m panicking just a little bit. I have decided this year to get everyone a small gift just because I have so many to buy, but it’s still the principle of making sure I get everyone’s gifts.

CHRISTMAS ACTIVITIES

Christmas is probably my favorite time of year. My favorite thing to do is to go see Christmas lights. I also still love to take a picture with Santa if there is an opportunity. I did it for the first time last year or the year before for the first time in years, and it made my day! Sometimes it’s nice to feel like a kid again. This year I hope to make some Christmas cookies and read some romance books based around Christmas time.

BLOGGING

I keep failing to get better at blogging, but I am going to keep trying! I’m one of those people who just have a really hard time sitting down and starting something because if I can just start then I can finish it. For instance, I have put off this blog post for a whole week, but now that I’ve finally started it, I am going to post it the same day. My goal for this month is to publish at least 12 blog posts! This one is number one.

WRITING

I had the goal at the beginning of the year to already be done with this book I want to publish, but I have barely even started it. I’ve restarted it so many times (one of those times this month) so that is why there’s not much progress. I hope now I am at a place that I can continue forward with my writing. I hope to be mostly done with my first draft by my 26th birthday next year (so roughly 9 months).

These are my 5 goals for the month of December. At the end, I will, hopefully, post an update about them. Do you have any goals/things you want to accomplish this month? What are they?

May in Pictures

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There is not much that I want say before you see my May in pictures, but I do want to say this. Black lives matter. Not all cops are bad. I believe the bad people deserve to go to jail.

Also, the picture where I have a bruised face is just make up I did for Tik Tok.

Mental Health Monday #5

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The main thing I struggle with is motivation. My mind is really good at convincing me to not do something even though I know I would regret not doing it later. This happens frequently with schoolwork, getting up early, going out, working out, and meditating. I know these things will make me feel better in the long run, but I still find it hard to get myself to do it.

I did have a good week of self-care. I was pretty consistent with my morning/night routine, being productive, meditating, and even exercising.

This week is my spring break, and I am excited to enjoy my time out of school. I won’t be lazy though! I am mostly going to be working this week so I’ll have a little extra money next paycheck. I do have a ‘Spring Break 2020 Bucket List’ that I will be posting about soon. I am still going to be productive even though I am on a break.

I know that sometimes doing nothing is a form of self-care too. The only thing is that when I do nothing, even for a day, it starts to take a negative toll on my mental health. I need fresh air and positive people at least once in a 12 hour period.

These next couple of months are going to be rough. I am graduating in exactly two months. I am so scared. I am not going to get everything done. I also don’t know what I am going to do after graduation, but I am not as worried about that.

I just hope I stay sane.

I’ll update you on my sanity next Monday.

Mental Health Monday #4

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My mental health has not been good, but I am finally doing something about it. I have come to realize this past week that I do not take care of myself enough. My motivation has been almost nonexistent. I knew what things would help my mental health, but I did not have the willpower to do them.

I have decided that to try and motivate myself this week by vlogging my week of self-care. Self-care comes in many different forms. I picked out a few for this week, and I plan on doing several each day. I am making a YouTube video out of it because I am hoping it will keep me continuing to do some of the same self-care every day. Plus, I haven’t posted a YouTube video in a while.

My plan for this week is to do my morning/night routine, exercise, meditate, mindfully drink coffee, drink more water, take a walk outside, jam to music, and be productive so I won’t be stressed out later.

Today I have done quite a bit of my self-care. I got up early this morning and went to the gym. I meditated afterward. I have drank more water, but not as much as I wanted to. I will get better about it tomorrow. I mindfully drank coffee. It was nice. I was even extremely productive today! I got some schoolwork done, and I got A LOT of my internship work done. Today was actually a down day for me, but I still pushed myself to be better.

The way I feel is not going to change overnight, but I am super excited to see how this week goes. I will, of course, continue doing more self-care in the future, but making a video is certainly a much needed push.

Mental Health Monday #3 (on Wednesday)

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Another week, another mental health Monday. You may have noticed that it is in fact, not Monday, but I was so busy (and tired) on Monday and Tuesday that I forgot all about writing a post.

This past week has been rough. My anxiety has been at an all time high. I’ve had multiple panic attacks (I’m mostly ok now though). This past week was definitely a down week for me. As I said in my last post, I did go to my counselor last Thursday. We concluded that all this happened because of my thoughts, and that is something I can work on.

Essentially, I worry too much.

She did give a few suggestions on how I can help this issue. First of all, we noticed that even when I say something positive I follow up with something negative. For example, I told her a plan how I was going to get everything done that day that I needed to, but I followed up with “well, probably. We’ll see how it goes.” I’m working on just doing what I planned to do. I have a bad habit of losing motivation.

My goal is practice not thinking so much . Overthinking, I mean. My anxiety has been so high because I overthink every little thing. The dialogue in my head is never quiet.

One thing I have not been doing even though my counselor said I should is to not drink coffee or tea. She said other things too, but coffee and tea is the only thing I drink out of what she listed. I have not stopped drinking either one of those. I know they don’t help my anxiety, but I drink one of those every single day.

I’m still trying to exercise and meditate every day because I know it would help, but it’s hard to find the motivation to do either of those.

Does anyone have self-motivation tips? Please tell me.

Also, don’t get me wrong. I do get everything done, but I want to get everything done before the last minute. I hold off doing everything, and I am thinking about it the entire time. You may think that if I worry about it all the time then I could just do it then, but it doesn’t always work that way. I can’t concentrate long enough to get most things done unless I am in a time crunch.

 

Mental Health Monday #1

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On Instagram, I follow the hashtag “#Mentalhealthmatters” because I love reading motivational quotes and people’s stories. I was scrolling through my Instagram earlier when I see a guy that had ‘Mental Health Monday #2’ as the start of his caption. (His insta is nickfituk). This post struck me differently than the others. Every Monday he is going to post a blog about mental health, and that is what I decided I wanted to do too. (You should join in on Mental Health Monday also!)

Mental health is a part of everyone. Sometimes it can be good mental health, but then sometimes it can be bad. I’ve dealt with a lot of bad mental health in my life. I don’t always know why it is there. It just shows up in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, I think I am slowly getting out of an episode. I have been more productive and slightly happier these last few weeks. I think I mostly needed a break from school. I was severely isolating myself.

For 2020, my main goal is to take care of myself better. Sometimes I get so frustrated with  myself because I know things that would make me feel better, but I talk myself out of doing them anyway.

Two of the main things that improves my mood is exercise and meditation. Exercising has been a bit more difficult here lately because every time I run, I feel like passing out. I’ve been dealing with a sinus problem since November (and yes, I’ve been to the doctor). There are other workouts that I can still do, I am just still trying to force myself into a routine. I want to start getting up early and working out/meditating.

I am hoping writing this post motivates me to do better. I will update you on if it did or not next Monday!