anxiety

7 things I do for therapy

Kelli1 Comment

Therapy is expensive.

Very expensive. To the point where one of my favorite things about college was getting the free therapy because I learned after I graduated therapy is expensive.

I am not a professional and this does not work for everybody. Half the time it doesn’t work for me because it takes consistency which is something I don’t always have.

If you think this blog is about how to afford therapy, I would click off right now because this blog post is about making my own therapy.

Mental health is something I have struggled with since my freshman year in high school. I spent years and years not really taking care of myself. Letting my intrusive thoughts win. I felt like I didn’t have anyone in my corner that could understand — that I could voice my thoughts to. Sometimes I still don’t but that’s beside the point.

Now I can manage my mental health better. While therapy was great while I could do it, it is expensive so I’ve had to rely on myself to keep myself out of the dark hole.

I want to share some of the things that help me in case it helps someone else.

Again I am not a professional and if you can get therapy I would try that too.

Before I start listing, I do want to say that in order for these to help, you have to actually do them consistently. Some of you may be thinking well duh, but for me this is harder than I thought.

Journal

Getting your thoughts on paper can help it not fester inside you so much. This could be about your thoughts, feelings, opinions. Sometimes I will even look up a writing prompt. I might make a blog later about mental health journal prompts.

Workout

Here lately I have been slacking on working out because of a change in my work schedule, but I want to get back into it regularly. My goal is to workout at least 4 days a week, but on the days I don’t workout, I still want an active rest by getting at least 8k steps in.

Plan to do things you love

Sounds so simple but sometimes it can be so hard. Especially when you’re in that depressed state, but sometimes you need to make yourself do things that you don’t want to do.

Reflect while in nature

Here lately I have gotten into the habit of sitting out on my porch super early in the morning (like before 6 am), and just taking everything in. This is also a good time to meditate or journal.

Tidy your living space

I have learned that my mental health is worse when my living space is messy. That could just be a virgo thing. If it’s hard for you to clean your whole space, but focus on a small part of it then focus on a different part the next day.

Have a morning and night routine

I feel like I am more put together when I have a morning and night routine. I am still working out the kinks of it, but so far my routine has brushing teeth and face, reading or journaling, meditating, and I have recently been trying to get into the habit of using a facial stone.

Do your hobbies (or figure out what your hobby is)

Before you say watching tv or getting on TikTok is your hobby, I want to advise doing a more active hobby. Personally, watching tv or TikTok all day makes me feel worse because it is an activity that my brain can kind of shut off for. A couple of my favorite hobbies is reading, hiking, video gaming, playing a sport, and dancing. Other hobbies could be painting, knitting, gardening, cooking, volunteering, skydiving, zip lining, rock climbing – anything that makes you happy. Don’t know what your hobby is? Keep trying different things until you find it.

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How I try to get through my seasonal depression

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For me, this is the best and worst time of the year. I love Christmas, but I hate how the weather and holidays can make my mood worse. This year I have really trying to take care of my mental health, and while it is still a work in progress, I do have some things I try to do to get out of the slump I am in.

Sing out loud to music

One way I know that I am not feeling the best is when I am not singing out loud to the radio. Here lately I have made a point to have a sing outlaid dance party whenever I am feeling down. “I Am Woman” by Emmy Meli has proven to lift my spirits. That, and “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John.

Meditation

I have to confess that I have been slacking on meditating, but honestly, my headspace is always better when I am consistently meditating. A lot of times I meditate with using a video, but sometimes I just meditate with some affirmations I need to hear in that moment. My most used ones are I am worthy, I am loved, I am more than enough.

DO MY SKIN ROUTINE

I swear just doing my simple skin routine can sometimes make me feel so much better. I have a bad habit, thought, when I feel too crappy and I don’t do it even though I know it would help. It’s weird how we do that. Don’t do something even though we know it could help us.

Socialize in person

I tend to isolate myself when I feel myself slipping into a depression. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to stop doing that. I may not can socialize for too long, but a little bit is way better than nothing.

Exercise

This is the main thing that I think helps me. It especially helps me with anxiety. It has actually been scientifically proven that exercising can help with mental illness. For me, working up a sweat can make me happy actually.

Read

Sometimes it helps to escape to another world for a little while.

Mental Health Monday #3 (on Wednesday)

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Another week, another mental health Monday. You may have noticed that it is in fact, not Monday, but I was so busy (and tired) on Monday and Tuesday that I forgot all about writing a post.

This past week has been rough. My anxiety has been at an all time high. I’ve had multiple panic attacks (I’m mostly ok now though). This past week was definitely a down week for me. As I said in my last post, I did go to my counselor last Thursday. We concluded that all this happened because of my thoughts, and that is something I can work on.

Essentially, I worry too much.

She did give a few suggestions on how I can help this issue. First of all, we noticed that even when I say something positive I follow up with something negative. For example, I told her a plan how I was going to get everything done that day that I needed to, but I followed up with “well, probably. We’ll see how it goes.” I’m working on just doing what I planned to do. I have a bad habit of losing motivation.

My goal is practice not thinking so much . Overthinking, I mean. My anxiety has been so high because I overthink every little thing. The dialogue in my head is never quiet.

One thing I have not been doing even though my counselor said I should is to not drink coffee or tea. She said other things too, but coffee and tea is the only thing I drink out of what she listed. I have not stopped drinking either one of those. I know they don’t help my anxiety, but I drink one of those every single day.

I’m still trying to exercise and meditate every day because I know it would help, but it’s hard to find the motivation to do either of those.

Does anyone have self-motivation tips? Please tell me.

Also, don’t get me wrong. I do get everything done, but I want to get everything done before the last minute. I hold off doing everything, and I am thinking about it the entire time. You may think that if I worry about it all the time then I could just do it then, but it doesn’t always work that way. I can’t concentrate long enough to get most things done unless I am in a time crunch.

 

Journal Entry #1: Better Than I Was, Not as Good as I am Going To Be

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I just want to start by saying that this post could be a TRIGGER to some people. I talk about mental health issues that I’ve had/have.

Past

I’ve had severe problems with my mental health since I was a freshman in high school. For me, high school was the absolute worst. I hated myself. I didn’t want to live. I’m honestly surprised (but also very glad) that I survived. I’m not going to get into major details, but freshman and sophomore year was rough. I went to the school counselor often although I don’t feel as though it always helped. I’ve always had a hard time telling people how I felt and why – especially back then. I would end up telling the counselor that I had some boy drama. Boys certainly did not help the way I felt about myself, but they were not the main reason I felt that way.

My junior and senior year of high school was definitely better, but it was not great. I still struggled a lot, but the friends I had made it more bearable. To those I was close to during those two years, I just want to say thank you. You helped me through so much, and you probably didn’t even know it. I appreciate you. I love you.

Even throughout college, I’ve struggled with loving/accepting/appreciating/caring about myself. I’ve never been diagnosed, but I am pretty sure I’ve been living with depression and anxiety all these years. Some days are definitely better than others.

A message I sent to a friend of my mine today has been stuck in my mind since I’ve been writing this post. It’s a great thing to remember:

“It’s just life. We live. We mess up. We learn. We try again.”

Present Day

Yesterday started out as “meh.” I don’t know how else to describe it. When I’m in that kind of mood I’m just… there. I only do things because I’ve learned to force myself to. I’ve never felt better by just laying in bed all day. And boy do I feel tired of feeling like that.

However, I did sleep in yesterday. Even though I woke up feeling “meh,” I still went to my grandpa’s house. I ate food, and then played video games with my cousin for hours – which did not help my mental state. I felt even more “meh.”

But it got better.

I became more productive. I went home. I took a shower. (Showers usually help a great deal.) I made several tik toks (@ kelliyoung42). I wrote in my journal. I even watched a really good movie called The Backup Plan.

Today was even better. I woke up early to go eat breakfast with my grandpa and my cousin. My pa makes THE BEST chocolate gravy. I went home a couple hours later. I actually started my laundry (and finished it). I went to help my dog get unstuck from which his chain latched onto a tree root. Don’t worry, a couple hours later that tree root was cut out so he can’t get caught anymore. I even ended up cleaning my room up quite a bit. This was all before it was even 1:30 p.m. It was then that I went to work until 10.

I’m very proud of my productive day. Being productive makes me feel accomplished, and like I’m doing something right. I’m hoping I will have this motivation for a little bit longer. Wish me luck.

Future

I don’t know what my future holds, but I am pretty sure that I will always have mental health issues. I know I should be diagnosed, but I’m scared. I’ve been told multiple times in my life that it was just a phase, and that I would snap out of it. I’m not snapping out of it. I’ve learned how to deal with it better, but you can’t just snap your fingers or turn a certain age for it to go away.

But I am proud of how far I am come. How much I have grown as a person.

I am way better than I was, but I also know I’m not as good as I am going to be. That thought makes me happy. This period of my life is not going to be the best time of my life.

Better times are coming. You just have to keep living to get there.