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Reintroducing Me

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My name is Kelli, but you can also just call me Kel. I have had this blog for years, but I have not really done anything with it. I talk about wanting to be consistent with posting about my life, but between my mental health, negative self-talk, and overall busyness, I have not been on top with it like I would prefer.

What’s changed? You may ask. Honestly, a random boost of motivation. I am reading this book called Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, and a chapter talks about how the reason most people don’t achieve their dreams is because when they are told no, or discouraged, they listen.

With both my blogging and YouTube channel, I have been so unmotivated because of personal things in my life, and the fact that I don’t really get any interaction… Which makes sense considering I don’t post regularly. I enjoy doing both, but even though I enjoy it, for some reason I don’t do it. I want that to change.

With saying that, I want to start doing everything more regularly. I wanted to start that with my blogging channeling and “reintroducing myself.” At the beginning of the week, I have given myself the challenge to post on my blog and on YouTube by Friday.

So hi – my name is Kelli, or you can call me Kel. I work as a waitress, but I also farm helping my grandpa. We grow tomatoes,watermelons, cantaloupes, squash and cucumbers. We currently have tomatoes ready, but the watermelons and cantaloupes have just been planted. They have sprouted! We have not been able to plant the squash or cucumbers yet due to all the rain we have been getting. It’s just my grandpa and I most of the time so it can be a slower process. My boyfriend has helped sometimes, but he has never farmed before.

This era of my life involves a lot of saving! I have always been good with money. I always have something I want to save up for. I may try to post about how I budget sometime later! The big thing I am saving for right now is a whole PC gaming set up – including a camera and mic so I can stream on twitch. If I stream on there right now it is on my PS4.

My favorite hobbies as of late are reading, playing video games, watching people play video games, and doing something outdoorsy – lately it has been playing badmiton! My favorite games to play are Sims 4, Hogwarts Legacy and animal crossing.

One of my dreams is to one day publish a book. Ever since I was a kid, I have always tried writing something. I used to write “short stories” and sell them to my family for a quarter. I couldn’t even tell you now what they were about. I have an idea for a fantasy book, but I am so stuck on it. I hope to try some techniques that will help my creative brain flow.

I have three cats and one dog. They are my heart and soul. As mentioned before, I have a boyfriend. We have been together for over six months. This is my first relationship in a while, and it is also my longest relationship ever. Our relationship has definitely been not traditional. He moved in with my mom and I before we had even started dating due to a situation he was in. We started out as co-workers, and at first, I only wanted to be friends. We are way more than that now. He treats me better than anyone else has, and will actually try to change when I say something bothers me.

I hope on this blog I can share my life and personal beliefs. I will also share with you the things that I am trying to do to improve my life – that may or may not work with me. If you are here for me and this journey.. I thank you.

7 things I do for therapy

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Therapy is expensive.

Very expensive. To the point where one of my favorite things about college was getting the free therapy because I learned after I graduated therapy is expensive.

I am not a professional and this does not work for everybody. Half the time it doesn’t work for me because it takes consistency which is something I don’t always have.

If you think this blog is about how to afford therapy, I would click off right now because this blog post is about making my own therapy.

Mental health is something I have struggled with since my freshman year in high school. I spent years and years not really taking care of myself. Letting my intrusive thoughts win. I felt like I didn’t have anyone in my corner that could understand — that I could voice my thoughts to. Sometimes I still don’t but that’s beside the point.

Now I can manage my mental health better. While therapy was great while I could do it, it is expensive so I’ve had to rely on myself to keep myself out of the dark hole.

I want to share some of the things that help me in case it helps someone else.

Again I am not a professional and if you can get therapy I would try that too.

Before I start listing, I do want to say that in order for these to help, you have to actually do them consistently. Some of you may be thinking well duh, but for me this is harder than I thought.

Journal

Getting your thoughts on paper can help it not fester inside you so much. This could be about your thoughts, feelings, opinions. Sometimes I will even look up a writing prompt. I might make a blog later about mental health journal prompts.

Workout

Here lately I have been slacking on working out because of a change in my work schedule, but I want to get back into it regularly. My goal is to workout at least 4 days a week, but on the days I don’t workout, I still want an active rest by getting at least 8k steps in.

Plan to do things you love

Sounds so simple but sometimes it can be so hard. Especially when you’re in that depressed state, but sometimes you need to make yourself do things that you don’t want to do.

Reflect while in nature

Here lately I have gotten into the habit of sitting out on my porch super early in the morning (like before 6 am), and just taking everything in. This is also a good time to meditate or journal.

Tidy your living space

I have learned that my mental health is worse when my living space is messy. That could just be a virgo thing. If it’s hard for you to clean your whole space, but focus on a small part of it then focus on a different part the next day.

Have a morning and night routine

I feel like I am more put together when I have a morning and night routine. I am still working out the kinks of it, but so far my routine has brushing teeth and face, reading or journaling, meditating, and I have recently been trying to get into the habit of using a facial stone.

Do your hobbies (or figure out what your hobby is)

Before you say watching tv or getting on TikTok is your hobby, I want to advise doing a more active hobby. Personally, watching tv or TikTok all day makes me feel worse because it is an activity that my brain can kind of shut off for. A couple of my favorite hobbies is reading, hiking, video gaming, playing a sport, and dancing. Other hobbies could be painting, knitting, gardening, cooking, volunteering, skydiving, zip lining, rock climbing – anything that makes you happy. Don’t know what your hobby is? Keep trying different things until you find it.

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Top 5 Favorite Youtubers (February 2022)

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I don’t watch as much YouTube anymore like I used to, but I do have five youtubers that I watch pretty regularly.

  1. BelieveGaming

Ricky posts gaming videos. He is actually my best friend, and I manage his social media accounts (Twitter: GamingBelieve, Instagram: believegaming22). He has played through several games already, including far cry 5, 6, and new dawn. He has also played the three bioshocks. He has played Angels of Death as a Halloween special. He has played Dying Light and is currently playing Dying Light 2.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDfT2y1nAOg9taMdRz_dtqA/playlists

2. Beatrice Caruso

When B first started her YouTube channel, it was strictly about her 100 pound weight loss journey. While losing 100 pounds is still on her agenda, her YouTube channel is so much more than that now. She is so real with her subscribers about her mental health. She talks freely about how therapy has been for her, and when she is struggling. I love watching her and am very proud she has come with her mental health and her coping skills.

https://www.youtube.com/c/BeatriceCaruso

3. basicallyreese

Reese is also very relatable. I’ve realized me and her are actually quite similar. I love how honest she is with her mental health as well. She is one of my comfort youtubers.

https://www.youtube.com/c/basicallyreese

4. Maya Lee

I started watching Maya’s videos more recently. She does a lot of tips videos about self-care and ways to change her life which I enjoy. She also sometimes just does regular vlogs as well.

https://www.youtube.com/user/mayaleex3/videos

5. Goodale & Co.

Mary is someone I met online may years ago (and honestly don’t remember how). We are not close, but I do like to support her by watching her vlogs. She is a very nice person, and her kid is so cute.

https://www.youtube.com/user/J3sus4life96

Life Update: health issues, feeling unmotivated

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I feel like every time I post on here I talk about how crazy my life has been. How unmotivated I have been.

So here’s another one.

My life has been crazy, and I have been super unmotivated.

Since the last few months of last year, I feel like I have not gotten a break.

It all started when I hit my right elbow really hard. I had hit a nerve and the pain was so bad that (after working on it an entire week), I had to take an entire week off in order for it to begin to heal.

Then not long after it healed, I started having these episodes of dizziness, shakiness, nausea, and extreme dry mouth. I endured it for a whole month. It wouldn’t be a constant feeling, but I would feel that way at least once a day for anywhere between 15 minutes to an hour.

After a month of having these episodes, I finally went to the doctor and got a blood test. It turned out that I had low vitamin D. Since I started taking these pills for it, I have not had those episodes again. Thank goodness.

However, the second week of January I got covid for the first time since this all began. The only thing that really bothered me was the sinus pressure, which is something I still have a little trouble with even a month later. Thankfully, I never lost my taste or smell, but the pressure in my head made me very unsteady. I ended up taking off work for two weeks instead of one, and still was having trouble the week I did go back.

It was not until the first week of February that I have started to feel like myself again. During this whole past month, I have not felt like doing anything – which is why it’s been about a month since I have posted.

I hope to be productive moving forward. I am trying my best to stay healthy (I’ve been popping vitamins like candy).

I am going to try to post every Wednesday, if not more, but Wednesday’s for sure.

I hope a lot of (good) things will be happening in the next few months.

October Recap [2019]

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I can’t believe it is already the end of October! It’s been a few weeks since I have posted, and I apologize for that.  However! I am hopefully back. These next few posts will be somewhat October related – although some will be after October is over.

Here’s a recap of my favorites this October:

Favorite book: The Scotch Series

It’s actually three books, but when I read them, it was online, and they all blended together. Sadly, this is the only thing I read this month. I am going to try to start reading more. I really recommend this series though – unless you could possibly get triggered by rape-related things. (Rape does not actually happen, but I still would not recommend if it is a trigger.)

Favorite movie: Coraline

I had never seen this before, but I like it. It is quite creepy but intriguing.

Favorite TV show: The Originals

Favorite song: “Panic Attack” by Scotty Sire

Favorite drink: Pumpkin Spice Latte

Favorite place: Martin, TN

Favorite app: Trello (I’ll do another post talking about this app – among others.)

Favorite memory: My best friend and I carved pumpkins. I carved a vampire, and she carved what I call a “basic white girl.” I’ll post the pictures in “October in Photos.”

Songs I’m loving right now (August 2019)

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Day 7: List 10 songs you are loving right now.

It was hard only picking 10 songs that I am loving right so I picked 10 then I picked 10 more.

Top 10 songs (probably):
1. Get Better by Scotty Sire

2. Notice Me by Scotty Sire

3. Burnin’ Up by Jonas Brothers

4. If Walls Could Talk by 5 Seconds of Summer

5. Nightmare by Halsey

6. Ready to Run by One Direction

7. She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer

8. If You’re Going Through Hell by Rodney Atkins

9. High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco

10. Youngblood by 5 Seconds of Summer

More songs that I listen to all the time:

11. Sound of Madness by Shinedown

12. Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max

13. Take Me Away by Scotty Sire

14. Medicate by Gabbie Hanna

15. Bad at Love by Halsey

16. Castle by Halsey

17. Dancing with a Stranger by Sam Smith and Normani

18. Fake It by Seether

19. Hey Look Ma, I Made It by Panic! At the Disco

20. idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish

Three MORE ways to win my heart

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Day 6: Five three ways to win your heart.

5 Ways to Win My Heart is a previous post I have written on the topic. Those five are definite ways to win my heart.

1. Love cats and dogs as much as I do.

Cats and dogs are my life. Not to mention, I have several of both so if you hate them then it would not work out at all. Also, you can’t hate/dislike penguins. Penguins are the cutest things ever.

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Penguin at the Gatlinburg Aquarium

2. Space

I have a personal bubble, and I don’t like when people invade that personal space (all the time). I mentioned in my previous post three pet peeves about how I don’t like people being in my personal space. I appreciate when people understand and respect that. If someone does not respect that then I will more than likely pull away from them.

3. Food

Food makes me happy. I turn into one of those typically girls that dance while they are eating. If a person buys or makes me food then I will probably keep them around a little bit longer (lol). This was the reason I kept some guys around for longer than they should have been (mostly kidding).

Nana

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Day 4: Write about someone who inspires you.

The person that inspires me the most in this world is/was my Nana. She was my mother’s mother. She died in 2010, but she still inspires me to be the best that I can be to this day. I lived with her and my grandpa for a very long time – since she was alive and several years after. They both looked after me.

To this day, I have never heard anyone talk bad about my Nana. She was the most amazing and nicest person I have ever met. She would give you the shirt off her back.

It has been nine years since she has been gone, but I still think about her every single day.

There are a lot of moments I wish I could remember from when I was younger, but being told by my Papa will have to be enough.

Apparently one time, I burnt the kitchen cabinets. I didn’t really burn them down myself, but my Nana was so busy playing with me when I was a baby that she forgot she was cooking something. My Pa jokes that she probably did it on purpose because she wanted new cabinets anyway.

I do remember one time asking her how long she had stopped smoking. She looked at me and asked, “How old are you?” I told her how old I was, and she replied, “That’s how long I’ve quit.”

My Nana was kind, patient and humble. She dried my tears when I would get hurt. She made me laugh. Her (and my Pa) taught me how to farm, clean and do laundry. She kept my Pa in line when he would say things that he shouldn’t. She was rarely ever in a bad mood.

I miss her a lot.

I hope that I am able to be at least half the person she turned out to be.

 

Three pet peeves that all have to do with people

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Day 3: What are your top three pet peeves?

I have posted about some of my pet peeves in the past. You can find it at the link 5 Pet Peeves. I have quite a few pet peeves, but I picked out only three other pet peeves that I have.

1. Judgmental people

There are so many judgmental people in this world. They want to judge people based on how they look, act, dress, speak, love, etc. In my opinion, I don’t think it should matter as long as no one is hurting anybody. Plus, it’s exhausting to judge people all the time. People really put all this time in effort to talk bad about people when they could be filling the world with love instead of all this hate.

2. Personal bubble

I’m not usually a touchy-feely person. I have a space that I don’t like for people to be in. There are always exceptions. If I’m really sick or tired, I might want to cuddle up with someone. I also am more lenient when I have a boyfriend. Boyfriend cuddles are the best ok. However, I do have (a lot) of times where I don’t want people to invade my personal bubble. When people do invade my bubble, I’ll usually try to move as soon as possible, and if they are trying to give me a hug I won’t hug them back. I don’t mean to be rude – I just like my space.

3. Thinking you are always right

I cannot stand people who will not admit that they are wrong or that there might be more than one answer. I know people who will argue with you until they are blue. I’ve learned that instead of letting that kind of negativity take over I just say, “You can think what you think, but I am going to think what I think. I’m not going to argue about this anymore.” Truth be told, I don’t usually do most of the “arguing.” I state my opinion then I hear a lecture why they think I’m wrong. I tend to walk away.

Do you have any pet peeves? Comment some of your pet peeves!

 

 

Personality

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Day 2: Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.

Growing up, I have always gotten compliments about my looks. That’s what old people do.

“Oh, you are so pretty!”

Most people compliment how pretty you are, how smart you are, or how good you are at a sport. All those compliments tend to blend together. I give the automatic respond of “oh, thank you!”

Don’t get me wrong – I do appreciate those words, but those just tell me how I look, and how good I am at something.

I will never forget those that have complimented my personality. The one’s that have said that they like the kind of person that I am.

That is what I will never forget.

I have been told by some friends that they liked the kind of person I was – which I really appreciate, but the one that really stood out was this old couple that comes in the restaurant I work at.

They’re regulars (people who come in often) who love to talk so I tend to talk to them every time they come in.

They told me that I’ve really come out of my shell since I had first started working (which was years ago). I used to not want to talk to anyone. I was extremely introverted (now people probably want me to shut up lol).

They also said, “you have a great personality.”

It really caught me off guard, but in a good way. It was honestly the best compliment I had ever received.

It really warmed my heart because in life all I want is to be the best that I can be. I want to be a positive vibe in other people’s life. I’m glad they’re one of the ones that I am.

I challenge you to compliment someone’s personality. I bet they will love it more than if you complimented their appearance.

10 things that make me really happy

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I am never motivated to come up with anything to write about. This goes with writing a blog post and for a book. It wasn’t always this way, but here lately I’ve been in a writer’s block.

However, I was searching on Pinterest the other day, and I found a 30 day writing challenge that I thought was perfect for my blog. My book is still struggling lol.

Let’s hope I can keep writing every day. If you would like to join in on this challenge, take a look at my last post here!

Day 1 – List 10 things that make you really happy

(1) My animals

My animals (4 cats & 1 dog) are my babies. To be honest, they are not all mine, but I treat them as if they were. My favorite thing to do (if my cats will let me) is to hold them in my arms as if they were a baby. What’s baby fever? I only know of kitten fever.

(2) Working out

Working out helps my mental health. If I am ever anxious at school, I always head to the gym. I’ll either do some yoga (their classes are amazing) or I’ll go for a run. It genuinely makes me feel better. I also like doing other things/classes, but those are my two main ones that I do in order to make myself feel better.

(3) Coffee (with or without friends)

Coffee is life. I love drinking coffee – especially with friends. It’s perfect when a friend and I can sit together, talk and sip on some coffee.

(4) Walking outside (especially hiking)

When I am in a good mood, walking outside is perfect. I love listening to the birds and looking at the scenery. I walk around my college town quite a bit.

(5) Reading books/blog posts

I’ve always been a book reader. Sadly, I have not been able to read as much as I used to before I graduated high school, but I do occasionally when I have the time to read. Do you recommend any? I try to read blog posts every day. I find them very interesting.

(6) Harry Potter

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love Harry Potter. Almost everyone at least has one thing that they are obsessed with. Harry Potter is mine. I’m thinking about making a youtube video about all the Harry Potter stuff I have. Spoiler alert; it’s a lot.

(7) Socializing

I used to be extremely introverted. I never wanted to talk to people that weren’t one the very few close friends I had. I was super shy, and I could barely speak to people when spoken too. Sometimes it’s still hard, but since I started college and started working at a restaurant, I have become more extroverted. Talking to people (that aren’t toxic) makes me happy.

(8) Traveling

Getting away from my town makes me happier. I love going on vacation and getting away from everything. I hope to find a job that allows me to travel. Staying in one place makes me feel trapped.

(9) Working

You may be thinking “working makes you happy? You must be crazy!” I might be crazy for liking to work, but I love how it keeps me busy. It’s something that I HAVE to do so it makes me get out of my house. Otherwise, sometimes I don’t want to do anything. Those days don’t turn out so great.

(10) Music

I love singing at the top of my lungs. It puts me in a good mood to do that and dance too.

August Writing Challenge

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In August, I am starting a writing challenge. I was looking on Pinterest when I found one that really interested me. I don’t know how blogging every day will go, but I am going to try my best. You should also join in on this challenge. The writing challenge I’m doing is pictured below, and I am also putting the link below it!

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/08/48/da/0848da249b7c1e1cc9ccb00c100b605f.jpg