For the past several years, I have created new year resolutions. I surprise myself and actually stick with it for at least 6 months. I’ll take 6 months over no months.
This year I’m putting my resolutions into 4 categories — fitness, books, productivity, and self-care.
Fitness
Bench 95 pounds at least 5 times by the end of the year.
Be able to do an unassisted pull up.
Get better at push ups.
Books
Read 30 books by the end of the year.
Complete book reading challenge. I made this one up myself and I’ll post about it in a different post.
Productivity
My main goal is to decrease my procrastination. The first thing I am going to do is stop procrastinating getting out of bed. This past week I’ve been getting up after the first alarm.
I want to be better about posting blogs and YouTube videos. I love doing it – I just love procrastination more. However, I think procrastination is a big cause of my anxiety so I want to be better about it.
Self-care
This year I really want to work on journaling and meditating more.
Also, just doing things that make me happy. And figuring out what does make me happy.
Here are my new year resolutions. Did you make any? What are they?
I know you’re sick right now with covid. Or still trying to recover. Spoiler alert: it’s going to take months before you feel OK again. Just keep pushing through.
I know you’re wondering how 2022 is going to go for you. You think this year is your year. Instead, this year is going to be a rough year. You’re gonna struggle. You’re gonna feel bad (sick) half the time. You’re definitely going to cry.
But — you’ll be alright. You’ll still have good times. You might not do everything you wished you would do, but you’ve still made memories.
You’ll visit your family in Illinois. You’ll feel bad, and won’t find out why till later, but you’ll still have a fun time.
In April, you’re going to burn your hand at work. You will cry a little bit, but just let your coworker put aloe on your hand and then when you get home you can put Vaseline on it. Makes it stop burning instantly.
During the summer, you’re gonna help Pa with farming. Uncle is supposed to help, but with him sick, you’ll end up doing most of the planting. It’s going to be really hot, and again, you won’t feel well, but you push through. I’m going to cherish the times we’ve helped Pa.
There’s other fun things that you will do with your friends. You’ll go hiking a couple times. The annual strawberry festival is fun as always. You’ll even go twice. You’ll go to Nashville for a day with some of your best friends. You’ll meet interesting people who may or may not stay in your life. Overall, life will still be good.
I’m not going to lie, your love life is going to suck this whole year, but you just need to focus on feeling better. I truly believe that the perfect person is out there for us. We just have to be patient.
I know you’re probably thinking “man, this year is gonna suck,” and honestly, a lot of parts do suck, but there’s a lot of great parts too. It’s just one of those years where we grow. Sometime soon we’ll thrive.
I am a virgo, and a huge fan of lists. Lists help me get things done. Without them, I would never know what I am supposed to be doing. My memory is so bad that I need them on the daily. I have noticed here lately that I have severely been slacking on my self-care. Today I decided to construct a list of daily self-care ideas to follow.
Meditate
Take vitamins
Drink (at least) 32 oz of water
Read one chapter of a book
Tidy up living space
Use sugar scrub / moisturize
Wash face
Do something creative
Eat 3x a day
Stretch
I have been so bad about not doing any of these. I know doing these can help my mental health, and I hope it does. I want to try to do these for a month straight and then give an update about how it has helped me or not. My main priority for 2022 is going to be self-care. I have neglected myself for so long, I need to put myself as a priority. I also have some weekly self-care things that I want to do.
You are more than enough. I know you are not told that often, but I swear you are. You bring a light to more people’s lives than you let yourself believe you do.
You are not perfect, but that is what makes you so real and interesting. You laugh often. You are honest. You are kind. You are caring. You try to not to judge. You are a motivator.
You have cute freckles and laugh lines around your eyes. You’re passionate about working out. You love your pets and best friends. Family, too.
You are the main character in your own story.
You don’t have everything [or really anything] figured out, and that’s OK.
Every single day you are just trying to be a better person than you were the day before.
Lastly, you are important. You are worthy. You are everything you sometimes think you’re not. You matter. There are people in this world that would miss your presence if you were gone.
I just want to start by saying that this post could be a TRIGGER to some people. I talk about mental health issues that I’ve had/have.
Past
I’ve had severe problems with my mental health since I was a freshman in high school. For me, high school was the absolute worst. I hated myself. I didn’t want to live. I’m honestly surprised (but also very glad) that I survived. I’m not going to get into major details, but freshman and sophomore year was rough. I went to the school counselor often although I don’t feel as though it always helped. I’ve always had a hard time telling people how I felt and why – especially back then. I would end up telling the counselor that I had some boy drama. Boys certainly did not help the way I felt about myself, but they were not the main reason I felt that way.
My junior and senior year of high school was definitely better, but it was not great. I still struggled a lot, but the friends I had made it more bearable. To those I was close to during those two years, I just want to say thank you. You helped me through so much, and you probably didn’t even know it. I appreciate you. I love you.
Even throughout college, I’ve struggled with loving/accepting/appreciating/caring about myself. I’ve never been diagnosed, but I am pretty sure I’ve been living with depression and anxiety all these years. Some days are definitely better than others.
A message I sent to a friend of my mine today has been stuck in my mind since I’ve been writing this post. It’s a great thing to remember:
“It’s just life. We live. We mess up. We learn. We try again.”
Present Day
Yesterday started out as “meh.” I don’t know how else to describe it. When I’m in that kind of mood I’m just… there. I only do things because I’ve learned to force myself to. I’ve never felt better by just laying in bed all day. And boy do I feel tired of feeling like that.
However, I did sleep in yesterday. Even though I woke up feeling “meh,” I still went to my grandpa’s house. I ate food, and then played video games with my cousin for hours – which did not help my mental state. I felt even more “meh.”
But it got better.
I became more productive. I went home. I took a shower. (Showers usually help a great deal.) I made several tik toks (@ kelliyoung42). I wrote in my journal. I even watched a really good movie called The Backup Plan.
Today was even better. I woke up early to go eat breakfast with my grandpa and my cousin. My pa makes THE BEST chocolate gravy. I went home a couple hours later. I actually started my laundry (and finished it). I went to help my dog get unstuck from which his chain latched onto a tree root. Don’t worry, a couple hours later that tree root was cut out so he can’t get caught anymore. I even ended up cleaning my room up quite a bit. This was all before it was even 1:30 p.m. It was then that I went to work until 10.
I’m very proud of my productive day. Being productive makes me feel accomplished, and like I’m doing something right. I’m hoping I will have this motivation for a little bit longer. Wish me luck.
Future
I don’t know what my future holds, but I am pretty sure that I will always have mental health issues. I know I should be diagnosed, but I’m scared. I’ve been told multiple times in my life that it was just a phase, and that I would snap out of it. I’m not snapping out of it. I’ve learned how to deal with it better, but you can’t just snap your fingers or turn a certain age for it to go away.
But I am proud of how far I am come. How much I have grown as a person.
I am way better than I was, but I also know I’m not as good as I am going to be. That thought makes me happy. This period of my life is not going to be the best time of my life.
Better times are coming. You just have to keep living to get there.
Story of My Life 